Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Expecting too much??

So...lately I feel like I want nothing to do with friends because I feel like they just don't understand what I'm going through. Don't get me wrong most of my friends seem to care and a few are very supportive but it's the others that just don't get it that SOO annoy me. I have kept most of this a secret from some of my friends and family but more recently I have started to open up because I now realize I need all the support I can get. Most of my friends have just got married or will be heading in that direction soon, so I do have to remember that they are not in the same place as I am. So even though I haven't told them about this blog yet, I'm thinking I might to give them an inside to my feelings and how 24/7 I'm thinking about what CD I'm on, how many days past IUI am I, if I was pregnant when would my due date be, if this month doesn't work what next, will my insurance cover the next step?? These are just a few of the millions of things that I think about on a daily basis. So am I expecting too much if I haven't even let them in to understand what I am truly feeling, instead of just my happy front that I always put on? Ughh sorry for the rant!

In other news I'm 5 days past IUI and the 2ww is killing me!! Every time I say it's going to get easier & I won't look into all the "symptoms" I think I'm feeling but I haven't got to that point. It's still torturous!! Cross your fingers for us...I so hope the 3rd times the charm ;)

Friday, May 14, 2010

Living a life of what if's.......

My future posts will be about my daily feelings and thoughts regarding infertility, but today I'd like to give you a little background information.
My husband Paul and I will be celebrating 3 wonderful years of marriage this July. We have a great relationship, wonderful families, an amazing fur-baby and much more to be thankful for, yet we still seem to be missing something. After trying to conceive for a year, I was sent to a specialist who adventually diagnosed me with the horrible label of "unexplained infertility". So what does this mean? It means that all my blood work, HSG, laparoscopy, and DH's SA look normal. As much as this seems to be good news it is very frustrating to have no idea why this isn't happening for us. More recently I have undergone two cycles of clomid with a trigger shot & IUI. I had so much hope for those cycles but unfortunelty they were unsucessful. I'm now on to my 3rd try with clomid,trigger & IUI before movning on to injections next month. I'm crossing my fingers and hoping this cycle works because the risk of multiples & me going crazy on the injections are much higher :).
Well that's it in a nutshell. Please, check in on a regular basis and write in any feedback you may have.